We typically think of disasters as dramatic, but time limited events, that cause targeted damage to specific groups of people, or geographical locations. So, it is disorienting to find ourselves trapped in an ongoing world-wide pandemic, which has no predictable end, and is changing all of our lives. Fortunately, much of what we know about people’s typical psychological responses to disasters can help us understand what we are going through now. Heroic Stage: When first confronted with a crisis people struggle to figure out what happened, and how to help. First Responders, health care works, and governmental and aid organizations attempt to assess the situation and figure out how to respond. When faced with evidence of human suffering people make dramatic efforts to save lives, some of which receive media coverage. Such heroic actions tend to reassure us that there are still good people out there, and that if we try hard enough, we can overcome the worst of odds. Certainly, the stories coming out of viral hotspots like New York and New Orleans prove that many of our health care personnel, EMTs and law enforcement folks truly do deserve to be called heroes. Honeymoon Stage: As the crisis grinds on, other needs become apparent. During traditional disasters, people step up to share information with their neighbors, donate food and clothes, and to thank first responders. As the Covid-19 crisis has unfolded neighborhoods have displayed Christmas lights and teddy bears, started sewing masks at their kitchen tables and sharing their expertise on everything from how to teach online, to cut hair, to scramble together meals out of the contents of your pantry. Helping other people generates a sense of satisfaction and purpose which is definitely good for mental health. However, when life doesn’t easily return to normal these feelings can fade. Disillusionment Stage: Many of us are starting to experience this stage. Trying to work from home while home schooling children, continuing to work in jobs that put your own health at risk, dealing with the financial fall out of closing an entire country, and foregoing normal pleasures ranging from dining out, to sporting events, to travel, to socializing with friends are taking their toll. Navigating multiple online platforms, passwords, and procedures is exhausting. People who live alone are tired of feeling isolated, roommates are trying to find ways to share small shared spaces, and families are trying not to get on each other’s nerves. As tensions rise, so do conflict, incivility, and misunderstandings. This stage can last for significant amounts of time, so it is important to recognize that we are all feeling the same pressure. Recovery Phase: Recovering from a disaster can take months to years but is usually characterized by efforts to rebuild homes and communities. The problem with a pandemic is that we don’t know how or when it will end. Undoubtably we will find medications that reduce its lethality and spread but only after tragic loss of life, psychological stress and financial difficulties. In the meantime, there is no magic solution that will make this all go away. But we can certainly choose how we deal with the cards we have been dealt. Creating and sharing stories of people helping each other can help us maintain a sense of connection and good will. Cutting other people slack can make it easier to avoid arguments and recognizing that we need to be responsible for our own self-care can be empowering. Waiting for people to reach out to you, feeling sorry for yourself, or wallowing in social media will not help you cope. Using this time to organize your home, find a hobby that re-energizes you, or to foster social connections will make your recovery easier. I will never forget an incident that happened when I was working as a Disaster Mental health responder after a tornado. I approached her while she was standing in line to register with FEMA. After talking for a few minutes, she shrugged through her tears, and said “I told my husband that when we rebuild this house I am going to fix every damn thing I didn’t like about it!” Maybe we should all think about adopting a similar motto. https://www.samhsa.gov/dtac/recovering-disasters/phases-disaster
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